ADPressions

Yesterday was my daughter's 13th birthday and her puppy, Clarabelle's 1st.  Since my daughter is far away this year helping to nurse Grandpa back to health, I did not get to celebrate her birthday with her.  However, I had a little celebration with Clarabelle her puppy.  She likes turkey hot dogs!  I broke one into many pieces and put the plate on the floor.  As she attacked the heap of weird meat with her cute little smile, my mind suddenly drifted back to that night she was brought to the house... while I sang happy birthday to her.

It was a night that I'm sure my daughter remembers me as a monster.  Another dog had been requested several times and I issued the fatherly "no" many times.  But, the puppy arrived anyway.  As I was leaving to go to town for an errand and before I even saw the puppy or held it, I did see the tiny bulge in my daughter's coat.  She had this great big smile on her face as though she had just found the most adorable precious creature on earth!  I became angered because they violated my fatherly command.  I was disrespected!  I was... torn!  I got in my jeep and drove away... mad.  I didn't even look at that little creature that had my daughter... and wife and son all in that mood of excitement and adoration!  Now I was confused!

Later, the little adorable precious creature was placed in my hand.  Yes, she was so tiny it was fascinating.  Tiny, but she jumped into the biggest place in my heart crouched there with my wife, my son and my daughter.  I immediately melted into the drug induced state of love.

Here I sat celebrating her birthday one year later... alone.  Once again torn.  Torn between the emotions of knowing how silly and creepy I must have seemed to my family that night and yet today I am so grateful to God for this puppy coming into our lives.  She is so smart!  She has become my biggest buddy.  If I am home, she wants to be with me in the house no matter what I am doing.  She loves to play fetch and tug a war.  She loves to sit with her head on my shoulder.  She loves to lick up peanut butter smeared onto a plate.  She comes and gets me to tell me it is bed time so she can snuggle up against me under the covers.  She is one of the most happiest creatures I have ever known.  She reminds me of someone long ago who I miss dearly... Centauri.  

She finished her hot dog pretty quick and off sniffing the house.  She goes into every room searching for... her missing pack.  I hope they come home soon even if it is just for her.  She'll sit in my lap wanting to be petted for about 20 minutes.  Then everything is ok... for her.

So today, I am writing this because we have those moments for a reason and I believe they should be reconciled.  I thank God for bringing her into our lives.  Who would have known that I would find myself alone for 6 or more weeks again and that Clarabelle would be the factor to keep me sane from the powerful darkness of loneliness?  And to beg my family, Clarabelle's pack, for forgiveness for being such a monster that night.  I think God sees this family as a very special family and he couldn't put Clarabelle, the special little angel of happiness with just any family.  Thank you for bringing this adorable little puppy into our lives!

Even though I miss my daughter in such a big way, It was a happy birthday after all.